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Half of me wants to go to work, half of me doesn’t. What is this? 

I can’t wait until May 31st.

HOME FREE BABY.

thelandoffakebelieve:

Technically any zoo is a petting zoo if youre not a pussy

(via radkyle)

trapcartel:

Show me your butts

(via lamesz)

I don’t like math. I actually hate. 

One of my customers called me sweetie yesterday, I almost died. 

I can’t take little names like that- let someone call me darling on the job. Dick gettin sucked right there.

rihyo:

i have a very sexually active mind for a very sexually inactive body

(via bmensah)